Ch-ch-ch-changes.

An attitude adjustment.

. . .

Hi there. It’s SnapDragon. Remember me?

January has almost passed us by, and I feel especially unfulfilled as an artist.

I feel . . . heavy, even though I’ve lost all the baby weight.

I feel . . . an odd mix of mindfulness and dissatisfaction at all that remains undone.

I’m here, but also there.

. . .

It’s really quite weird to be middle-aged. I think of the “older” people I’d hear, laughing about crow’s feet and mom jeans. And. . . here I am.

High school was almost 20 years ago now. Twenty years. Yet I feel like I could just step back in time, and go through the lunch line without a hitch.

Chocolate milk and a cheese sub. (Did it come with a side? Surely it did, even for $1.60. Growing bodies, yo. What a bargain.)

Even though I’m just over five feet tall, I think my days of getting carded are officially over. There’s no mistaking the life lived on this face now. These hips, these hands. These coffee-stained teeth. The hopefully-amusing cynicisms I toss out in public.

I’m in a different phase of my life now.

And it’s okay.

(shrugs)

It has to be; there is no alternative.

. . .

We lost our dear cat Henry this month. He was a special guy, a sweetheart.

He had a good run: so many snuggles, so much comfort and companionship over the near-decade we had him.

I still see him everywhere in the house. I can hear his curious little chirping. I still find tufts of his magnificent white fur ground into my sweaters.

But now he’s just gone.

. . .

I sit here in the driver’s seat, watching the icy drops stick to the windshield.

I enjoy the warmth of the engine’s heat as my children snooze and chew on grilled cheese.

We change over the years, but then again, not really.

I think that maybe the versions we are today have always sort of been there, waiting to be discovered.

Awakened.

I’m her and this and she.

Who are you?

. . .

SnapDragon is a writer who aims to enjoy her friendships.

Follow Snippets of SnapDragon for this and that and whatever. Maybe she’ll get back in the swing of things soon.

8 responses to “Ch-ch-ch-changes.”

  1. I’m sorry about your cat. We actually gained one, grudgingly. Our third. She’s young all black like our Ohna, but with a wisp of white on her belly. She showed up on a Wednesday evening out from under our front porch. We were literally watching the new “Wednesday” series at the time. Posted her pic online and looked for the owner. Nope. Guess she’s ours. Of course, naming her wasn’t a problem.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, friend. It’s a special kind of pain when we lose our pets. 💔
      But that’s exciting about your new kitty! Be well! 🕊

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Only “Almost” 20 years, girl that’s not even close to middle aged. This year is 35 years since HS that to me is far more… you’re still young.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Haha, it’s all relative, right? 😀
      Thanks, friend. Be well. 🕊

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I’m good…creaky but good 😅

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Falling into the future each second, arriving as a variation of me, as I fall into the next one. Occasional moments of clarify illuminate big chunks of the journey. A mystery it is, this thing called Life. Be well my friend.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Beautifully put, Bryan! Same to you. 🕊

      Liked by 1 person

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