Snippets of SnapDragon

An attitude adjustment.

. . .

Hi there. It’s SnapDragon. Remember me?

January has almost passed us by, and I feel especially unfulfilled as an artist.

I feel . . . heavy, even though I’ve lost all the baby weight.

I feel . . . an odd mix of mindfulness and dissatisfaction at all that remains undone.

I’m here, but also there.

. . .

It’s really quite weird to be middle-aged. I think of the “older” people I’d hear, laughing about crow’s feet and mom jeans. And. . . here I am.

High school was almost 20 years ago now. Twenty years. Yet I feel like I could just step back in time, and go through the lunch line without a hitch.

Chocolate milk and a cheese sub. (Did it come with a side? Surely it did, even for $1.60. Growing bodies, yo. What a bargain.)

Even though I’m just over five feet tall, I think my days of getting carded are officially over. There’s no mistaking the life lived on this face now. These hips, these hands. These coffee-stained teeth. The hopefully-amusing cynicisms I toss out in public.

I’m in a different phase of my life now.

And it’s okay.

(shrugs)

It has to be; there is no alternative.

. . .

We lost our dear cat Henry this month. He was a special guy, a sweetheart.

He had a good run: so many snuggles, so much comfort and companionship over the near-decade we had him.

I still see him everywhere in the house. I can hear his curious little chirping. I still find tufts of his magnificent white fur ground into my sweaters.

But now he’s just gone.

. . .

I sit here in the driver’s seat, watching the icy drops stick to the windshield.

I enjoy the warmth of the engine’s heat as my children snooze and chew on grilled cheese.

We change over the years, but then again, not really.

I think that maybe the versions we are today have always sort of been there, waiting to be discovered.

Awakened.

I’m her and this and she.

Who are you?

. . .

SnapDragon is a writer who aims to enjoy her friendships.

Follow Snippets of SnapDragon for this and that and whatever. Maybe she’ll get back in the swing of things soon.